The Surprisingly Easy Way To Ditch 40% Of Your Wardrobe

I discarded 40% of my wardrobe today, talking smack the whole time to the losers. I said stuff like:

– “You chafe my armpits and have to go.”
“You require a slip and that’s bullshit. Thanks for your service.”
– “You are boxy and weird.”
– “You are doing my chest no favors.”
“You are a Janet-Jackson-caliber wardrobe malfunction waiting to happen.”
– “You are a crutch for my ‘ugly’ days and must leave.”
– “You make me look like a prairie woman.”
“Does polyester burn? Because you deserve to burn.”

All-The-Clothes

I started The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up to figure out how the fuck someone managed to fill up 200 pages on “tidying,” then dupe people into buying it.

Then I realized I was hopelessly in love with the author, who seems like a fussy old lady but is actually a very fetching young Japanese woman. She’s all about keeping only useful, beloved objects in your home, and treating them with love. (A great summary of her beliefs is here.) Her sort of Shintoist, animism-infused beliefs annoy Christians (1, 2), which I find funny.

I decided to try it myself.

I hauled all of my clothes out of the closet/drawers and dumped them on the bed. I held each item up and determined if it “sparked joy.”

It was touchy-feely nonsense, but it worked. I got rid of 30-40% of my wardrobe in under an hour.

You should try it.

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Two Old-School Nickelodeon Shows You Can Catch On YouTube

I spent a 3-hour car ride drawing this and filling it in with crayon.

SpaceCases

There’s not much to say about this piece of Space Cases fanart that my back tattoo hasn’t said already.

Did you know that you can watch the entire 26-episode-run of Space Cases on YouTube? I wasn’t even the one that put it there. (It seems like something I’d do, doesn’t it? But someone else made it happen.)

Speaking of Old School Nick, Are You Afraid Of The Dark is also available on YouTube. Which is great, because it disappeared from Amazon Prime. Viacom and Prime had a bit of a falling-out over reality TV, and I guess Dark got sucked into it.

What do these two shows have in common, aside from all those bomb-ass Canadian accents? Jewel Staite. Here she is on Dark. Here she is making the same mistake I constantly do. And here she is using pregnancy as an excuse to do her thang.

Yeah. Pregnant. She’s not ten any more. Why is it so surprising when child actors grow up?

Catalina-GrownUp

I see pictures like this ^ and I’m like “don’t let the Commander see that. You’ll be put in the brig or whatever the hell.”

I guess if I’m allowed to curse and have sex, Catalina can, too. We have all aged.

Next year it’ll be 20 years since Space Cases premiered. Maybe I should get another tattoo. Grown-ups like Jewel Staite and I are allowed to do that.

Geek Chat: Is Robin A Help Or A Hindrance?

Your Robin feelings say a lot about your worldview.

Riddle me this: Is Robin a giant, frigging liability? Or is he a cutie patootie that contributes to your enjoyment of Batman?

Robin-Help-Or-Hindrance

As an introvert and kind of a jerk, my battle is often: “Do I want to be lonely? Should I let people in — at the expense that they may annoy me or depend on me more than I’d like?” 

Having other people around means a lot of things: 
– You have to help friends move.
– You have friends to help you move.
– You have to pet-sit.
– You have someone to bring you a cookie when you’re in a bad mood.
– You get baby-barf on your shirts.
– You wind up listening to other people’s uninteresting problems about their dead parents.
– Other people listen to your uninteresting problems about your dead parents.
The Joker might kidnap your friends, and you have to save them.
– Two-Face might try to drown you in sand, and they have to save you.
Friends are free, unlike butlers, whom you must pay.

run_run

I honestly oscillate between loving and hating Robin.

Usually I want to push Robin off a cliff for being useless.

I’ve taken this as a sign that I should stick to a job that provides a lot of alone time.

Three Unattractive/Scary Drawings

Each of these drawings has elicited a raised eyebrow and/or recoil from at least one person.

Sketch-Gainz

SELFIE ALERT. I’m not very muscular, okay? My wimpy T-Rex arms and I have to take life one day at a time.

Sketch-Clowns

Clowns are not a popular subject ’round these parts. Or any parts.

Sketch-Bender

My husband the Futurama fan is alarmed by this Bender with a diseased human trapped inside.

“That’s so wrong,” he said. “Don’t ever show it to me again.” 

Ever wondered why I’m so in demand? Here you have it.

If you’re interested in more attractive pages, I posted some a few days ago.

6 Book Reviews! In Limerick Form!

I love writing book reviews, but I often worry that they’re tedious to read. Imposing limits on them is challenging for me. And it’s fun (maybe!) for you. Let’s go!

Accomplished-Books

The Warmth of Other Suns.

As current events show
America stands in the shadow of Jim Crow.
Though you might be aghast,
it’s important to learn about the past.
You can’t fix what you don’t know.

Before Watchmen.

I grabbed this on a lark.
Its storylines are dark,
but the writing
is exciting,
and it really hits the mark.

Better Than Before.

The key to making life better
is to be a go-getter.
Set your habits;
Let them multiply like rabbits.
Use your personality type to the letter.

Failed-Books

The Bees & Beautifully Unique Sparkleponies & The City Under The Skin.

I die a little inside,
to admit that I tried —
but I failed.
I chose to bail.
I put these books aside.

As a personal note about this entry, I am absolutely never doing this format again.

This post took days to write.

Turns out I can’t rhyme at all. Basic kindergarten poetry is beyond me.